Imagine it’s the first day of the ninth grade. All the kids have Kahtoolas and you show up wearing yak-trax or something. Ugg, just imagine…devastating. From there your life is a downward spiral…
Age 15 you develop irreparable self-esteem issues that make life very trying in nearly every way. Existence is painful.
Age 16 the D&D club and band geeks alternate days beating you up, taking your lunch money, and giving you the most atomic, underwear shredding wedgies imaginable.
Age 17 you are expelled from highschool for being wicked-lame
Age 18 your parents kick you out of the house and give you with an invoice for all the shredded underwear they had to replace. You are unable to pay so they disown you and send collections after you. You are unable to pay and fall deep into debt. The interest rates are unreal.
Age 23 you are fired from Wendy’s for hurting the company’s image and being a downer.
The rest of your life becomes exponentially more intolerable with each passing year. The last notable event occurs at age 46 when you are laying face down on a cold snowy sidewalk being slowly trampled by a bunch of merry pedestrians wearing Kahtoolas. In spite of your dire straights you can’t help but to chuckle a bit at the irony, chuckling turns into hysterical laughter (the first in years), then fades into pitiful sobbing. You are then arrested for disturbing the peace and a public display of suckery. The Judge doesn’t care for you at all and you spend the rest of your life in prision.
The End
The point being: you need these:
Have a great week!
SB
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