Ode to harness #26

So I got to thinking the other day about harnesses, and how if you think about it, all other climbing gear is pretty much worthless if you take the harness out of the picture. All your ropes, carabiners, cams, nuts, slings, pulleys, rope devices, beer-bongs, sky hooks, RURPs, rivet hangers, wall hammers, big bros and hand drills… would really be quite useless with out the harness.

I started feeling like the poor harness is like the unsung hero of the climbing arsenal. Then I looked at my own loyal harness and started to cry a little. Then I picked my harness up and hugged it and apologized for taking it for granted. Then I cried a little more. Then my girlfriend walked in and gave me a very disapproving, contemptuous, but not all that surprised sort of a look. I told her to leave us alone, and to go make me a Hot Pocket, or mow the yard or something.

My emotional little moment with my harness inspired me to write a poem. I call it Ode to harness #26.

Here goes:

Oh harness oh harness
I wear you all day
I hang in you sometimes, when I have to belay
You hold all my gear
Like my cams and daisy chain
And you catch me at times, when I can not maintain
You were my first piece of gear, when I was just new
And I hate to take you off, but sometimes I must poo

Then I started thinking of all the great deals on harnesses at the WildyX, like these:

Black Diamond MOMENTUM DS Harness Package
 
Black Diamond PRIMROSE SA Harness

Mammut VISION Harness


Mammut MIRAGE Harness


Black Diamond PRIMROSE A/L Harness

So anyway, the next time you’re out crushing, take a little time to let your harness know how good its been to you and how much you really do appreciate it… Unless you don’t really like your harness that much, in which case you should lay a big guilt trip on it and come buy a new one from us.

Climb on,

Sam Benedict
Shipping/Receiving Manager
Wilderness Exchange Unlimited
2401 15th st Suite 100 Denver, CO 80202
303 477 0881