Appeasing Mother Nature

So, if you live around theses parts (Denver Metro/ Front Range), you may have noticed the persistent afternoon monsoons in the last two weeks. Sure, afternoon showers/storms are pretty typical for this time of year. But what we’ve been seeing lately is a bit different. Mother Nature is behaving like a surly, disobedient teenager who just got a new wah-wah pedal and an amplifier that goes up to 11.
 

She’s still experimenting with the potential of her new high-voltage, face-melting rig of sheer hard-rocking power. Her chops are still a bit on the sloppy side, but its not stopping her from making a heck of a disturbance and ruining afternoon climbing sessions for everyone in the area.

 

I bring this up because I was in Eldorado Canyon the other day and was privy to one of these displays weather insurgency. I couldn’t help but to wonder what had provoked Mrs. Nature to behave so spitefully… then it dawned on me that these storms must be a direct message to all the ill-prepared climbers out there. Suddenly it all made since!! Stay with me here:

 +  +

 =  +  

X  /  X =

 (hate^100,000)

 

 

So, if my math in the equation above is sound, there is only one conclusion that can be drawn: Mother Nature becomes extremely vengeful when climbers are ill prepared/under equipped/ or have not purchased the following products from the WildyX:

 

-Beal JOKER 9.1mm x 70M – Mrs. Nature really enjoys the soft catch of this rope

 

-Mountain Hardwear Men's EPIC Jacket – when you aren’t prepared for a thunderstorm, Mother Nature end up feeling that she isn’t being taken seriously – this insights rage.

-Mountain Hardwear Women's EPIC Jacket – same goes for the ladies (except double)

 

-La Sportiva SOLUTION – Mrs. Nature is far more favorable to those who climb in Solutions. The following shoes have also been approved by Mrs. Nature:

-La Sportiva TC PRO

-La Sportiva Women's KATANA

-Scarpa FORCE Climbing Shoe

-Five Ten ANASAZI MOCCASYM

 

-DMM HB BRASS OFFSETS Set (#0-6) – Mrs. Nature really enjoys taking whippers on these.

 

-Edelweiss ENERGY ARC 9.5mm x 60M– She really likes this rope because its lightweight and handles like a dream – climbers using this rope are 126% less likely to be benighted.

 

Mrs. Nature is extremely intolerant of climbers who are not prepared with the following:

-Mammut LUCIDO T1

-Trango PIRANHA Knife

-Petzl TIBLOC Ascender

 

Remember, while Mother Nature can be a cruel mistress, she can also be nurturing and hospitable – just don’t anger her by not having the right gear.

 

Hope that helps,

 

Sam Benedict

Shipping/Receiving Manager

Wilderness Exchange Unlimited

2401 15th st Suite 100 Denver, CO 80202

303 477 0881

sam@wildernessexchangeunlimited.com