Sierra Designs closeouts – discouraging bullies

Are you a grade school student or the parent of a grade school student who is always getting beaten up at school? Have you or your child been victim of wedgies, swirlies, titty-twisters, purple nurples, getting thrown in trash cans, locked in lockers? Have some of these acts of bullying escalated to “atomic” status? Concerned that you or your child will develop crippling complexes that will be carried on into adult life?

If so, it’s probably because you or your child doesn’t have a new Sierra Designs HURRICANE Jacket.Yeah, pretty simple psychology really: kids with sub-par rainwear will have traumatic childhoods, struggle throughout school, make very poor choices early in life and typically wind up in prison before age 30. That’s just how it works.

Fortunately, we are committed to making these crucial items available at best price so that not only wealthy youths have the opportunity to be become productive citizens.

Or maybe you’re an adult who never had quality rain wear as a youth and have become a complete and utter junk-show of an adult? 

Well, it’s never too late. For the fully grown crowd we are offering best price on the following:

Sierra Designs Men's VAPOR Pant

Sierra Designs Men's HURRICANE JACKET

Sierra Designs Men's CYCLONE Parka

Sierra Designs Women's HURRICANE Jacket

Yeah, we understand. Most of us were tormented in grade school; which later lead to a descent from mainstream culture as we understood it, and even later to a borderline unhealthy obsession with one or several individual, outdoor sports. We get it, and we’re here to help.

SB

Closeout Black Diamond packs...

Lookin for a new pack?...well, you are now. Yeah. You are. What’s that you say? “but I’m actually not interested in astounding savings on a new Black Diamond pack”?...WHhhaaaatt!?!?!?  Did I hear that right?



You will be interested in what you are told to be interested in. That’s why we recklessly throw money at marketing gurus and industry analyst; to make YOU want to buy what WE want you to buy. To undermine out efforts would be not only insulting to us and our highly paid marketing team, it would be an insult to American consumerism…which I’m pretty sure would be both a sin, and a federal offense.
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So, let’s grow some manners real quick and get with the program…

Here are some products that you would like to purchase. The testimonials say it all:
Black Diamond SPEED 40L Pack (Closeouts)
“This pack changed my life! It literally gave me super powers!! I went from working a dead end job at a meat packing plant to being a famed and beloved DC Comic hero. Thanks SPEED 40!!!”
- The Flash

Black Diamond PREDATOR 50L Pack (Closeouts)
“Before I got my Black Diamond Predator pack, I weighed over 500 pounds, I was doing my dishes in the bathtub, sleeping all day, eating little Debbie’s feverously, and pretty much just watching MTV all day. I wasn’t happy. So when I saw the infomercial for this pack, I took a chance and dialed the 1-800 number…AND LOOK AT ME NOW! Pretty scary huh? Thanks Wilderness Exchange!!”
-Preadator (after the weight loss)

Black Diamond QUANTUM 55L Pack (Closeouts)
“I was getting to a really hard place in my life. Metropolis was more crime ridden than ever. Lois ran off with some dude named Batman…pshhh, Batman, doesn’t even have any super powers. My fantasy football team was doing terrible, I was doing my dishes in the bathtub again, and I was having a awful bout of canker sores…So I got this pack… nothing really changed as a result, but I really like the pack.”
- A sullen Superman

Keep America strong, keep consuming,

SB



Poudre Canyon guidebook party!

Hey look everybody!! There is going to be a sweet guidebook release party for the Poudre Canyon book! A guidebook release party? Has such a thing ever been done before? I truly don’t know. Alls I knows is that its going to be totally awesome. That Doug Shepherd is going to be there talking about how much he enjoys shimmying up ice and being really cold. Doug is really hardcore. I climbed with him once and he was jumping all over talking about all kinds of cool stuff and sending everything simultaneously – it was amazing!!

There will be pizza and beer for everyone to maintain with and all the proceeds from the book go to the Craig Luebben memorial fund!  Everyone who is anyone will be there so DON’T miss it!

Click on flyer picture to read details.

Wicked awesome Kelty corp closeout action

Did you know that Kelty actually owns Sierra Designs? Ya, crazy. AND, did you know that Kelty is actually owned by a silent sister company of Clarus (Black Diamond, Gregory Packs and others that we don’t know about). AND would you believe that Clarus’s majority share holders are… that’s right, you guessed it… the Rockefeller family, WHOM are practically puppets of Haliburton… and you know who controls Haliburton don’t you?       Cheney right? Of course. -----WRONG. Cheney is merely a fitting scapegoat for all the atrocities of the conglomerate. Halliburton is basically a false entity used to launder the wealth of 12 bankers of an ethnicity that cannot be specified due to the workplace standards of this company (WEU). And wouldn’t you know it, those 12 bankers are ALL members of a secret brotherhood that has been controlling societies since the dark ages. Other individuals and entities, such as the Kennedy family, Time Warner, Warren Buffet, Sony, Scarpa and the Abu Dhabi National Oil Company also fall into the mix.

But check out theses sweet closeout deals:

-Sierra Designs Men's HURRICANE JACKET (Closeouts) – seam taped rain shell for 35 bux!!!!! That gets me so excited I want to hug someone, punch someone in the mouth and go dancing in the rain!

-Sierra Designs ROSA 20F – it’s like the Wild Bill for the ladies – I think they should have called it the Wild Wilma…

-Kelty REDTAIL Pack – these will dominate once the back to school season hits…maybe we could threaten someone from the Colorado school board and have that season start a bit sooner

-Kelty REDWING Pack – optimal book bag for more robust pupils

-Sierra Designs LIGHTNING XT 2 – we had five, now we have 8

Trust no one,

Sam Benedict

Shipping/Receiving Manager

Wilderness Exchange Unlimited

2401 15th st Suite 100 Denver, CO 80202

303-477-0881