You will be interested in what you are told to be interested in. That’s why we recklessly throw money at marketing gurus and industry analyst; to make YOU want to buy what WE want you to buy. To undermine out efforts would be not only insulting to us and our highly paid marketing team, it would be an insult to American consumerism…which I’m pretty sure would be both a sin, and a federal offense.
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So, let’s grow some manners real quick and get with the program…
Here are some products that you would like to purchase. The testimonials say it all:
Black Diamond SPEED 40L Pack (Closeouts)
“This pack changed my life! It literally gave me super powers!! I went from working a dead end job at a meat packing plant to being a famed and beloved DC Comic hero. Thanks SPEED 40!!!”
- The Flash Black Diamond PREDATOR 50L Pack (Closeouts)
“Before I got my Black Diamond Predator pack, I weighed over 500 pounds, I was doing my dishes in the bathtub, sleeping all day, eating little Debbie’s feverously, and pretty much just watching MTV all day. I wasn’t happy. So when I saw the infomercial for this pack, I took a chance and dialed the 1-800 number…AND LOOK AT ME NOW! Pretty scary huh? Thanks Wilderness Exchange!!”
-Preadator (after the weight loss)Black Diamond QUANTUM 55L Pack (Closeouts)
“I was getting to a really hard place in my life. Metropolis was more crime ridden than ever. Lois ran off with some dude named Batman…pshhh, Batman, doesn’t even have any super powers. My fantasy football team was doing terrible, I was doing my dishes in the bathtub again, and I was having a awful bout of canker sores…So I got this pack… nothing really changed as a result, but I really like the pack.”
- A sullen SupermanKeep America strong, keep consuming,
SB
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