Fairy Tales and Therm-A Rest

Here at the WildyX, we like to pamper ourselves and our customers, but mostly ourselves. Some of our staff members are more high maintenance than others, but because they are so valuable we will go to any lengths to maintain their every need.
Take Reilly “Fingers” Anderson for instance. He told me the other day “You know Sam, sometimes I feel like a romantic era princess who just happened to be born into the body of a tall gangly 21st century ultra-stud.”

I nodded understandingly.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m a wild stallion on the outside, but a beautiful and dainty little pony on the inside”.
I wanted to tell him that I had found his stash of “My Little Pony” collectables in the break room but I thought that might embarrass him.
“This is kinda silly but, sometimes after my girlfriend goes to bed I hang my head out the window and let my long flowing hair blow gently in the cool night breeze in hopes that my Knight in shinning armor will come galloping up, and climb my hair up into my lonesome chamber.”

He said staring dreamily off into the distance…I felt totally weirded out and walked away.

Later that day as I was showing a customer our vast selection of discounted sleeping pads and I had a marvelous idea. “By the beard of Zeus I’ve got it!!” I exclaimed out loud “If Fingers wants to feel like a princess, well gosh-darn it, he deserves to feel like a princess” The customer looked confused. I told the customer to hurry up and pick a pad and get out of my face. The customer did so happily and gave me a high-five.
Then I frantically made a stack of all of our display pads. I went and grabbed Reilly by his long flowing nappy weave and told him to close his eyes because I had a grand surprise for him. Having him keep his eyes closed, I picked him up and laid him gently down on the stack of discounted Therm-A-Rest, Keltyand Pacific Outdoor pads I had made for him.
“Ok Fingers, now open your eyes and tell me how it feels.”
He wiggled around for a moment and said “Well this is a really nice surprise, but I feel like…. almost like there’s a small round object jabbing into my lower back.”

I grinned at him, bent down and removed a single pea from under the bottom pad and showed it to Fingers “See Reilly, you really ARE a princess!!!!”
“Oh, Sam…” he said tearing up.
“Shhhhhh…” I said holding my finger to his quivering lips “just sleep now.”

After he woke up I put the pea back under the stack of pads and had Lisa lay on it to serve as a control group. “Wow!! This is soooo comfy!” she exclaimed “You could put a bowling ball under there and I probably couldn’t feel it!!”

Reilly and I both looked at her in disgust. “You know Lisa,” Reilly said “there is a bunch of dirty dishes in the break room, maybe you should get started on those.” Lisa looked sad and went to the break room.

Fingers laid back down on the stack and looked at me “Sam,” he said “will you tell me a story?”


The End
Sam Benedict
Shipping/Receiving Manager
Wilderness Exchange Unlimited
2401 15th st Suite 100 Denver, CO 80202
303-477-0881sam@wildernessexchangeunlimited.com