More Osprey than you can shake a stick at

Here at the WildyX we love Osprey packs. Not that we don’t hold our other pack vendors very dear as well – because we do. But our relationship with Osprey is a little different. We love Osprey like a kid loves candy, like hippies love hacky-sacs and patchouli, or a Lioness loves her cubs (at least the ones she doesn’t eat).
  
Due to our slightly obsessive affection for Osprey, we decided to bring in a lot this spring. Far more than ever before, far more than you could possibly imagine. Indeed, more Osprey than you could possibly expect to effectively shake a stick at.

Sure, you could probably shake a stick at a couple of Osprey RAPTOR 10 Packs, or even an Osprey AETHER 70 Pack.

But trying to shake a stick at our entire Osprey selection would as fruitless as getting a graduate degree in modern art.


Maybe you’re a conceptual physicist and you’re thinking way too hard about this. You’re thinking of Phi, Pie, relativity, quantum theory, and racking your brain trying desperately to untangle the maddening conundrum of shaking a single stick at such a quantity of Osprey. You haven’t slept for days, you've come up with several equations and they ALL end in infinity, you have bags under your eyes and your bedroom is starting to look like a scene from A Beautiful Mind…


If you are still entertaining the idea of shaking a stick at such unmitigated amounts of hot sweaty Osprey action, here are a few suggestions to help you get your mind correct:

-Buy an Osprey pack
-Buy multiple Osprey packs
-attach 100 leeches to your skin and sit in an empty bathtub with no food or water and white rabbit playing on a loop for 24 hours
-Take up smoking
-See a hypnotist
-Take up a hobby that doesn’t involve packs such as cooking or crochet
-put your left foot in, take your left foot out, put your left foot in and shake it all about
-Pick up the phone and dial nine, nine times

Don’t think too hard, just get a new pack,

Sam Benedict
Shipping/Receiving Manager
Wilderness Exchange Unlimited
2401 15th st Suite 100 Denver, CO 80202
303-477-0881sam@wildernessexchangeunlimited.com