Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Petzl revolution

It has not yet been decided if this revolution will be televised. But check it:

Petzl GRIGRI 2 – we now have blue and gray.
Petzl ANGE – this is a new carabiner and it is totally revolutionary. It’s more revolutionary that the revolutionary war was. More revolutionary than Rosa Parks was (though not quite as socially significant). The Beatles song “Revolution” was actually written about a dream that Lennon had about this caribiner; yes, the Beatles were that ahead of their time (a few lyrics were changed to make the song more marketable). This carabiner is also more revolutionary than your mom.

A few attributes that make the ANGE so flippin’ revolutionary:

- It comes in different sizes and colors!!! Colors have been done before but no climbing manufacturer has ever dared to produce different sizes of the exact same biner. For the time being we only have small in orange.

- First carabiner ever scientifically PROVEN to make you climb harder.

- Carabiner of choice for the following celebrities: Al Roker, Al Gore, Bono, Tim Tebo, the Pitt/Jolie twins and Will Smith.

- It has a very stiff gate and a very narrow gate opening. This means it will be best appreciated by strong climbers climbing on very thin ropes. If you are not a very strong climber you may need to find a very strong climber to accompany you during every lead so that they can do the clipping for you. In France they call these people “super sherpas”. There are currently no super sherpas working in the States.

- It has this little black thing on the gate and im not quite sure what the reason for it is but I am certain that it’s awesome.

- Collaboratively engineered by the following: Steven Hawking, Steve Forbes, Steve Jobs, Steven Tyler and Bono.

- Based on an original collaborative concept by Buckminster Fuller and Nikola Tesla.

Commence crushing,

Sam Benedict
Shipping/Receiving Manager
Wilderness Exchange Unlimited
2401 15th st Suite 100 Denver, CO 80202
303-477-0881
sam@wildernessexchangeunlimited.com

No comments:

Post a Comment