He was exceptionally magical unicorn (even by unicorn standards) and had a penchant for quality outdoor gear.
Wildy was also a very frugal unicorn and often had trouble finding gainful employment because he was a unicorn. So Wildy lived off the government and did a little “freelancing” (panhandling) from time to time. He also made a few bucks here and there by selling his used outdoor equipment on consignment at the Wilderness Exchange.Wildy didn’t have many friends because Denver doesn’t have a very big mythical beast population. So he spent most of his time frolicking around the Front Range by day, and hanging out with the hipsters at Bar-Bar by night.
One rainy night as Wildy was walking home from Bar-Bar at about 3:30am, he heard a loud crashing noise. The noise startled poor Wildy such that he leaped in the air, came down a bit off balance, fell flat on his face and began vomiting rainbows all over the sidewalk. 
“Golly,” thought Wildy “I’ve got to find a new social circle”. As he picked himself up he heard the noise again. This time it was even louder. Wildy began galloping up and down the streets in search of the racket. Somewhere around Union Station, Wildy stopped abruptly. What he saw before him blew his mind (it’s nearly impossible to blow the mind of a unicorn). He rubbed his eyes, blinked, slapped himself across the face, but sure enough, there in front of him he saw an enormous mammoth trying desperately to climb a crack between two buildings. 
He watched in awe and horror as the mammoth climbed higher and higher, shaking more and more as she went. Then, the mammoth fell and produced that same sound that drew Wildy over in the first place. Wildy began laughing hysterically. The mammoth looked over at Wildy and then looked embarrassed.Wildy pranced over gleefully “Hi! My name is Wildy what’s yours?”
“Uh, um, Stompy” replied the mammoth still a little embarrassed.
“Nice to meet you Stompy are you a magical mammoth!?!”
“Oh, not really, I mean maybe a little. I don’t know” replied Stompy sheepishly.
Wildy looked at Stompy for a moment. She had long eyelashes, dainty (though still enormous) hoofs, a few tasteful trunk piercings and a little pink bow on her tail. Wildy had an instant crush!!!
“Say Stompy, would you like to dance?”
Stompy blushed “I don’t really, I mean I’d love to but I”Then Wildy grabbed her by the hoof and they started dancing, slowly at first but then faster and more vigorously. Before long gaint rainbows began shooting out of Stompy’s feet every time she stomped. As the rainbows shot into space all kinds of jellybeans, gumdrops and electric guitars started falling out of the rainbows. Stompy saw this, got excited, and started stomping even harder.
This time the rainbows produced all kinds of super awesome Mammut climbing gear such as: - Mammut MATTERHORN 10.2mm X 60m SUPERDRY Rope
- Mammut Tubular CROCODILE SLING DYNEEMA® 10mm
- Mammut ELEMENT Wiregate
- Mammut ELEMENT SCREWGATE Carabiner
- Mammut PASSION 10mm x 70M
“Wowzers!!!” they both exclaimed at once.
“You know who could probably really use this stuff?” said Wildy.
“The Wilderness Exchange?” replied Stompy.
“Yeah, how’d you know”
“Woman’s intuition” said Stompy with a wink
Wildy just looked at her adoringly. They gathered all the closeout Mammut climbing goods, skipped down to the Wilderness Exchange and left it on the door step with an invoice.
The Sun was coming up and they were getting tiered.
“So what do you do anyway?” asked Wildy.
“I’ve got an internship with Mammut. What about you?” Stompy asked in turn.
“ummm… I’m sort of a freelancer”
Then they joined hands, skipped back downtown and found a nice bridge to sleep under.
The End
Sam Benedictsam@wildernessexchangeunlimited.com Sam Benedict
Shipping/Receiving Manager
Wilderness Exchange Unlimited
2401 15th st Suite 100 Denver, CO 80202
303-477-0881
No comments:
Post a Comment