Time to get in shape for summer!!

Put on a few pounds over the winter? Yeah, a lot of people did. It’s pretty standard, and it’s really quite ok. What is NOT ok is continuing to let yourself go over the summer and then putting another winter layer on top of it next winter. That’s how people wind up looking like this guy:

I mean do what you want. Maybe you’re more concerned with being able to provide ample shade for others with your expansive body mass than you are with looking good for the people seeking shade under your gelatinous sunshield that you call a body. If that’s the case, then our hats are off to you. But few people are that altruistic. Not saying you aren’t… you know, just saying.

Cool, so were in agreement: you need to get in shape. Me? I did 3 ½ push ups this morning so I’m doing fine thank you. Lets not change the subject, we’re talking about you – the morbidly obese reader. Or maybe you have the body of a Greek god – but that’s beside the point. The point is EVERYBODY can stand to be in better shape – even this fella:

He’s got the laundry on lock, and I like to see that, but he clearly needs a tan and those tats would probably look better if his arms didn’t look like a five year old girl’s.

So what can I do to get in better shape?

Simple. Buy one or all of these products (what did you think I would get you thinking about body image and NOT try and sell you something? C’mon, this is America):

Mammut climbing equipment – this one is easy. Climbing people are sculpted and beautiful. Examples:
  

Camelbak hydration products!!! – no matter what sports drink commercials tell you there is no substitute for pure water. Most peoples lives would improve 300% if they drank about 300% more water – not even joking with that one.

Darn Tough socks– once you get hyperactive and hell-bent on fitness you’re going to be tearing though socks about as fast as the gallon containers of protein supplements. If you’re thinking of cotton socks you’ll go broke. Closeout Darn Tough socks on the other hand, will help with foot stank AND save you money.

Therm-A-Rest Sleeping pads – Studies show that people who own Therm-A-Rest products are on average 23% less morbidly obese than those who don’t. You don’t really even need to sleep on it that much. So get a Them-A-Rest, sit back, crack a beer, and just watch the ponds drop!!

Ok, now its time for a little less talk, and a little more follow through. So buy some products (from us) and go get after it!!

Sam Benedict
Shipping/Receiving Manager
Wilderness Exchange Unlimited
2401 15th st Suite 100 Denver, CO 80202sam@wildernessexchangeunlimited.com